Breaking News: Chicken boobs impersonating chicken wings!

Hello all, today is Wednesday July 21st, 2010.  It is with a heavy heart (and full belly… just had dinner) that I bring you this bit of news today… but I would not be a true food lover if I were to let this atrocity continue.

Did you, dear friends, know that “boneless chickens wings” are mere chicken boobs (tenderloins)… who in their Dr. 90210 frame of mind decided to pass themselves off as Chicken Wings!?  Who, I said who, decided to start this mass false advertising?  And who, I repeat who, decides to eat boneless wings in lieu of the real McCoy?  That’s like going to a bar an ordering an O’Doul.

Now, you may be saying “Oooh Lawrence, I eat boneless wings for the nutritional benefit”.. waah, waah… “all white meat”.  As I tape my eyelids open, hoping to the heavens that I don’t roll my eyes… I point out that the wings are generally fried.  Fried food is fried food is fried food is fried food.  Enjoy it and [insert physical activity of choice] it off or don’t and pat your belly fondly while reminiscing of the wonderful time shared.

My fictional gripe with boneless wings is not so much what they are, but more so their naming convention.  Don’t get me started on the boneless rib.

On a slightly contradictory note, I guess I should mention that Duffy’s is offering $0.25 “boneless wings” Wednesday the 28th to celebrate their 25th year anniversary.  Hmph… can’t pass up a discount but no comment!

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